Shadow Work: Hero’s Journey Tarot

Today I did a bit of card throwing, and decided it was a good day to do the “Hero’s Journey” spread for myself. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept of the “Hero’s Journey” in literature, see the spread details below for each step. If you’re unsure what is meant by “Shadow” in this context, I will suggest that you check out this page. This is simply part one in my shadow work for specifically October but ultimately the end of 2019. You can check these pages out for previews as I intend to follow this process at the moment.

Aspects of the Hero’s Journey

The Hero
Hero’s Journey Tarot Spread (c) Xiao Rong
The Quest
Refusal of the Call
The Guide
Road of Trials
The Dragon
Death
New Knowledge
Boon
The Hero Returned

Continue reading for not only the breakdown of what this all looks like in the world of this tarot spread, but also the breakdown of me trying desperately to make these cards work together. It’s bound to get personal, folks. Let’s have a good time.

Continue reading “Shadow Work: Hero’s Journey Tarot” →

Community

Hello!
I’m writing this on a Sunday, so happy Sunday to same-day readers. Otherwise, happy whatever-day-of-the-week-it-is!

I woke up with two thoughts in my head today. The first, while not directly related to the overall theme I’d like to stick with for this blog, is a very important reminder: fear often pretends to be anger.

The second was a longing for community so strong that I considered a trip to the nearest random church I could find, even though they are not my community. This longing has brought me to tears twice this morning, and I’ve only been awake for two hours at the time of writing. So, I’m going to listen to what my heart is telling me – this is important.

How many times has community literally saved my life?

This post will reference multiple mental and personality disorders, talk about religion, suicide, alcoholism, drug abuse, abuse, bullying, eating disorders, and other topics that may be triggering to some people. While I tried my best to leave out details, I do not skirt around the issues as I mention them. Continue reading “Community” →

[and it’s spring]

Hello and Happy Spring!

This is my favorite season. I feel like I am coming alive again. The world is coming alive again. There are so many wonderful things that happen once Winter finally passes us by. I can breathe. I start to sing. I dance. I call out to the birds.

I honestly do a lot of things that I try not to do at other times during the year. Not all of them are good. I have to fight a lot more potentially-dangerous impulses this time of the year. It’s only 25 degrees Fahrenheit out right now, Britnie, and it’s windy, why do you need to wash your car by hand and go on a three mile walk after you take your third shower of the day and it’s only one in the afternoon? Go distract yourself until you don’t feel this urge anymore. And for Pete’s sake, don’t act on it! (Do I even know a Pete?)

Also, apparently spending money is something that I’m doing right now. I’m paying off medical bills, I’m putting money into my candle business, I treated myself to a haircut… but, oh yeah, I’m not working again and I’m not getting a paycheck. I shouldn’t spend $50 on a sudden grocery trip and treat myself to $6.00 sushi because I’ve completed a difficult task. (Apparently risk-taking and impulsivity are traits often found in people who have been diagnosed with BPD. Normally I have them under firm control. In spring? Apparently not.)

Anyway. I digress. I’m subject-jumping.

I titled this blog post with an e.e cummings poem. One of my absolute favorite poems, and my favorite poet. No, really. I read my husband an e.e cummings poem during our wedding vows. But, this particular poem [in Just-] is so great and it definitely makes me think of spring. Myself in spring. Also, kind of nonsensical which is fantastic and suits me just fine, especially right now. See below. Continue reading “[and it’s spring]” →

Changing My Thoughts and Knowing My Worth

Hi, friends!

Today I want to scream into the void about how important it is to know your own worth. It’s something that I’ve struggled with for most of my life. For a very long time, I could not reach past feelings of worthlessness. I thought that I was worthless. And nothing that anybody else could do or say would convince me otherwise. I had abundant proof that I had value, had worth, and I was achieving my goals (some small and seemingly insignificant, others large and groundbreaking) left and right. Yet, I still felt worthless. To this day, when my anxiety and depression really kick the floor from beneath my feet, I struggle with feelings of self-doubt and worthlessness.

I’ve had a breakthrough. I want to share this with you.

Continue reading “Changing My Thoughts and Knowing My Worth” →

VLOG: Courage, Self-Knowledge, and Perseverance will get you far

I recorded this video in mid-October. I have not been able to go back and write anything that seems like it would be worthwhile to pair with it at the moment. So, let us have a vlog post on this topic, as it stands, and I will probably revisit it at another time. I often find myself coming to this topic organically. I have no doubts that I will visit this topic again. For now, I have held it in reserve waiting for the “right moment.”

There is no such thing as “the right moment.” I should have shared this two weeks ago; how many people could have benefited from this in that time? File this one under: thinking too much; also file it under “letting perfect be the enemy of Good.”

If you like what I write, any of the ideas that I share, or just want to give back: please, leave a comment! It helps me to know that there is engagement or interest, and it also helps me figure out which topics are worthwhile to dig a bit deeper into. Any suggestions of ideas you’d like me to ponder, please let me know as well because I’m always happy to do a little more thinking on the big, important topics of life.

This November, I dive head first into NaNoWriMo and tackle writing a novel in 30 days. If you’re a ‘wrimo, add me as a writing buddy! This is a time where perseverance is key. I wish you luck, and happy noveling, and I charge onward towards the elusive goal of 50,000 words.

Remember, everyone: There’s 2 months left of this year, so make the most of it! You do not need to wait for January to begin working on a resolution, to change a habit, or to start something new and exciting. Every moment is a chance to begin. Seize it.

Wacky, Wonderful Wednesday

Happy Wednesday!

I’m in the middle of two long-ish posts, but I wanted to check in with everyone. What a week! For those of us who work a Monday-Friday job, we’re half way to the weekend! For those of us with a non-traditional schedule, congratulations on making it through Wednesday! One more day behind us and closer to the goal.

This week has been beyond hectic for my family, so I’m taking a moment to share the things that I am grateful for this week:

It hasn’t snowed yet.
I succeeded in arriving early to work every day this week.
I currently spend most of my day working in Photoshop and listening to my own music.
Taco Tuesday for less than $10 at my workplace.
Somebody had a birthday today, and everybody brought snacks.
4pm ziti at work, encouraged by my boss.
I’m just thankful for my boss in general. Shout out to Rich for being a decent human.
Mandatory ethics training.
Hot tea. Hot cocoa. Instant chai-tea-with-milk-and-sugar packets. Warm milk.
Wool socks. Gloves.
The hunter-green jacket my husband bought me for Christmas in 2017.
Previous long-term job for training me how to maintain composure on the phone.
My car’s heated seats and 6-disk CD player.

If I gave it more time, I’m sure that I could come up with more things that I’m thankful for. It would be a lot of really inane things – absolutely normal and random things that exist in my daily life that make me very happy.

Enjoy the rest of your Wednesday. If you want to, leave a comment and let me know what you’re grateful for today.

My Personal Commandments

Today I wanted to share my 10 Personal Commandments that I came up with in June. As I’ve mentioned before, 2018 has been a year of extraordinary growth for me – I bought a house, got married, changed careers, began and ended relationships – so it should come as no surprise that I have been focusing more on personal growth. I want to end the year with a clear picture of who I am and who I want to be, as well as have a plan for how I am going to get there.

Well, it’s a good thing that my first (and probably most important) Personal Commandment is to Be (100 percent, unapologetically) Britnie.

Continue reading “My Personal Commandments” →