The Un-Binding: Samhain 2019

So, I’m a little late sharing this, but November 2nd was the day that I attended a Samhain ritual. It was everything I needed it to be, and then some, as they tend to be. This is the first time I’ve been able to sit down and write about it because I’ve been focusing on NaNoWriMo for the duration of November. So, let us talk about Samhain.

Last year I wrote a little bit about Samhain, specifically about the ancestors. This year, we also worked with our ancestors. With the “veil” being thin during Samhain and Beltane, it makes sense that we would be working with Other so much during this time.

Samhain tends to be a solitary ritual, though it is a group of people that meets up for the holiday every year. Last year was much the same. I did not share the details of the ritual on this blog, though I think I talked about it, and my findings. I plan to write about it in my end of the year reflection though – there was a lot that I learned, and a lot of growing that I did that can be tracked to that one ritual and the message I received. Anyway.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

This year, the ritual was in three parts. From the very beginning until the very end, it was silent, you were not to drink or eat anything (water being the only exception), and you were not to touch anyone. It was you and your ancestors.
1. Enter into the first ritual space, waiting by the fire with your offering and waiting your turn.
2. Be lead to the second ritual space by a representation of Death, where you would be cleansed and enter to meet with your ancestors, giving up your offering to them.
3. Meet the representation of Life, who will lead you into the home where you would don a blank mask and wait for further instruction. The instructions were thus: decorate the mask as the ancestors told you to.

Continue reading “The Un-Binding: Samhain 2019”

Mother Wound Series: a Tarot Spread Analysis

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The Mother Wound Tarot Spread

Benebell Wen’s “Mother Wound” Tarot Spread was the first deep dive into this “Mother Wound” and “Negative Mother Complex” that I wanted to tackle. I was going to do it yesterday, but my courage and energy had dried up by the time I was physically ready to do it.

I want to preface by saying that I wrote very little in the way of lead-in, and some of the things I mention could be a bit triggering with anyone who has a history of domestic abuse, drug or alcohol abuse. Unlikely, but possible.

I’d also like to note that I am no longer involved in a toxic or abusive family situation, and that I do not need to take legal action at this point. My situation growing up was less than ideal; many people have it worse than I did, and many people have it better. I am also seeing a professional.

I have reached a point in my healing where a lot of things in my past can be discussed as “fact” and I am not looking for pity or even sympathy. Rather, a reaction like “oh, that happened,” and moving on – a neutral reaction – is best for me at this point, as reactions that are full of sorrowful emotion, pity, sympathy, etc tend to make me feel uncomfortable and like I should have hidden or minimized the situation.

Also, if anybody feels the need to tell me “this didn’t happen the way you’re portraying it” I would like to tell you the following: this is the way that I remember it, and this is the way that I am reacting to it emotionally. We may remember it differently. Your comment does nothing to heal any emotional or mental traumas that I have experienced, and actually makes the situation worse. Memories do not stay perfect, complete, or unchanged in the brain and actually mutate slightly over time. Again, this is how I remember it, and it may be different than how you remember it, and neither of us needs to be wrong or right.

I think I have covered all of the bases, so let’s hop into my first intentional engagement with my festering mother wound, wherein lies much trauma.

Note: this post has been updated since it’s original posting.

Continue reading “Mother Wound Series: a Tarot Spread Analysis”

Shadow Work October: Part 2

Welcome to another session of #ShadowWorkOctober where your host, Britnie, delves into her subconscious and tries to figure out 1. WHAT the fuck, 2. HOW the fuck, and 3. WHY the fuck she is how she is. This will be followed with the process of acceptance and integration of these thoughts and ideas. You may not get to see all of that, though.

Please note that I am regularly seeing a psychologist and am working through my mental health matters on my own time, as well as delving into the tool called “Tarot” for a different lens. Also note that I have been reading tarot for about a year and still have some learning to do… in addition to that, I read from a place of bias and a somewhat distorted self-view. As always, if you have questions, comments, or an addition to make please meet me in the comments section 🙂

Also, worth mentioning, is the fact that I am currently ill and have a fever. Please excuse my rambles in advance, and let me know if anything doesn’t quite make sense.

Continue reading “Shadow Work October: Part 2”

Shadow Work: Hero’s Journey Tarot

Today I did a bit of card throwing, and decided it was a good day to do the “Hero’s Journey” spread for myself. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept of the “Hero’s Journey” in literature, see the spread details below for each step. If you’re unsure what is meant by “Shadow” in this context, I will suggest that you check out this page. This is simply part one in my shadow work for specifically October but ultimately the end of 2019. You can check these pages out for previews as I intend to follow this process at the moment.

Aspects of the Hero’s Journey

  1. The Hero

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    Hero’s Journey Tarot Spread (c) Xiao Rong
  2. The Quest
  3. Refusal of the Call
  4. The Guide
  5. Road of Trials
  6. The Dragon
  7. Death
  8. New Knowledge
  9. Boon
  10. The Hero Returned

Continue reading for not only the breakdown of what this all looks like in the world of this tarot spread, but also the breakdown of me trying desperately to make these cards work together. It’s bound to get personal, folks. Let’s have a good time.

Continue reading “Shadow Work: Hero’s Journey Tarot”

Soul Scripting Exercise

Hi, it’s me again. I hope you’re well.

Today, I picked up the book Evolution of Goddess: A Modern Girl’s Guide to Activating Your Feminine Superpowers by Emma Mildon. There’s exercises throughout the book, and I quite honestly need a place to record my answers. I’m thinking they may be helpful for others, too. And, hey, this blog is really about my journey towards enlightenment, right? (Right.) This is part of my journey. Please join me.

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Year and a Day Tarot Reading

Hello everyone, long time to talk!! It’s been a crazy year so far, 2019, but I hope to be back semi-regularly soon.

Yesterday, in honor of Friday the 13th/Full Moon/my Year and a Day since connecting with a local pagan group, I did a more involved tarot reading with my Everyday Witch’s Tarot deck. See below for Spread, reading, and interpretation. Please, please, please feel free to leave a comment with thoughts – and if you also read tarot feel free to add!

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This is a spread I found on Instagram and modified slightly to suit my purpose. Originally, it was more full-moon focused, but I wanted something a bit more.

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I chose to read with “Everyday Witch’s Tarot” and I have yet to be disappointed by this deck. I love the imagery, colors, and the deck doesn’t really pull any punches. At the same time, the readings I have gotten haven’t been needlessly cruel or meanly worded or anything. I won’t say I haven’t been bonked over the head by the deck though!! Continue for my interpretation and analysis!

Continue reading “Year and a Day Tarot Reading”

Community

Hello!
I’m writing this on a Sunday, so happy Sunday to same-day readers. Otherwise, happy whatever-day-of-the-week-it-is!

I woke up with two thoughts in my head today. The first, while not directly related to the overall theme I’d like to stick with for this blog, is a very important reminder: fear often pretends to be anger.

The second was a longing for community so strong that I considered a trip to the nearest random church I could find, even though they are not my community. This longing has brought me to tears twice this morning, and I’ve only been awake for two hours at the time of writing. So, I’m going to listen to what my heart is telling me – this is important.

How many times has community literally saved my life?

This post will reference multiple mental and personality disorders, talk about religion, suicide, alcoholism, drug abuse, abuse, bullying, eating disorders, and other topics that may be triggering to some people. While I tried my best to leave out details, I do not skirt around the issues as I mention them. Continue reading “Community”

They Know Who You Are: on ancestors

The second Wednesday of every month, I go to meet with a group of people to dive into some deep, spiritual discussions that I don’t often get to explore in my daily life. An eclectic group of Christians, various Pagan paths, and those who are undefined but exploring their own spirituality, questions are encouraged and the discussions can get very deep.

Samhain is coming up, and in the Celtic traditions this is the blood harvest for culling the herd and readying the home for Winter, but it is also a time where we can interact more easily with those across the Veil. Ancestors. There was a lot of focus during this meeting on ancestors. I gathered my courage and I asked a question:

“What if you don’t know anything about your family or ancestry?” Continue reading “They Know Who You Are: on ancestors”